The Source: Wednesday, February 6, 2008

TheSource4YM.com

	Jonathan's Resource Ezine

Weekly Resources, Ideas and Articles from The Source for Youth Ministry
Wednesday, February 6, 2008

In This Issue

Featured: What Do Your Kids Really Think? Find Out What One Youth Worker Found Out From His Kids About Listening to Lyrics!
New Podcast: Jonathan, Brandon and GROUP's Danette Matty Talk About the Role of Women in Youth Ministry
Something You Can Use: Free Valentine's Resources Galore!

If you aren't a subscriber of this EZINE and would like to subscribe - it's free - just pop on www.TheSource4YM.com and sign up in the upper right hand corner.

Featured: What Do Your Kids Really Think? Find Out What One Youth Worker Found Out From His Kids About Listening to Lyrics!

By Jonathan McKee

Many of you have already read my blog about Soulja Boy and the truth behind his "Superman" song and dance penetrating schools across the country. A few days later the subject came up again in this blog, and I ended with a quote from a 14-year-old in a chat room:

I love this song, and
i dont really care what
the lyrics mean.
:P

That day, a youth worker named Jason read my blog and decided to do an experiment with this new knowledge. He took a survey with his kids. Here's what he discovered:

in Ref. to this blog I thought I would sit down with my youth group and pick their brain about music and how we as parents and leaders should deal with the music. Below is the results.

About Music

1. Question should we as parents turn a deaf ear to your music and hope you don't know what it means?? 58% agree we should turn a deaf ear

2. Should we explain to you what a song means and then if it's bad (not pleasing to God)..ask you not to listen to it. 52% said we should explain

3. As a Sunday School teacher should I mention if a song is bad? 33% said yes I should

4. 33% said they would keep listening to the song when they realize it's not pleasing to God

I think Jason had a great idea. I'd love to find out what your kids think!

So try this: take 5 minutes next time you meet with your kids to survey them anonymously (hand out blank scraps of paper and have them number 1-6). Ask them these six questions adapted from Jason's poll:

Do you think that parents and youth workers should stay out of your music, turn a deaf ear, and hope that lyrics don't affect you?
Do you think that the lyrics affect you?
If parents or youth workers discover that a song is vile or degrading, should they explain it to you and warn you about it?
How many of you would still listen to it even if you knew the lyrics were bad?
Should parents draw a line and enforce rules of what you can and can't listen to?
What should that line be? (what criteria should they use?)

(Note: Some of you might think, "This would be a good opportunity to discuss the issues of the stuff we allow in our heads, or compromising." We've got several good resources that you can use as "ready-made" discussions on the topic. Our MOVIE CLIP DISCUSSIONS page has a great one using a clip from the third Lord of the Rings film, and one from 24... but also check out some Object Lessons like the one on Purity, the "Special Brownies" one... etc. Good discussion material.)

Now, I only took one statistics class in college, so I'm no expert. But I do know one thing about this quiz: there is crossover in these questions and I think that's good. It helps us evaluate kid's true feelings about a subject. Sometimes you have to ask a similar question two different ways to get at the truth. In other words, questions 1 and 3 are really similar. It would be funny if kids answer YES to #1 and YES to #3 (3 is asked in the inverse). We see that trend in Jason's kid's answers. 58% said "stay out of our music!" But then 52% turn around and say, "sure, explain a song to us if a song is bad!" (do they want us to stay out or what?)

Post your results as a comment on THIS BLOG. I'll try to post as many of your stats and comments as possible. More importantly, I'll post a grand total of all the responses. So stick to the six questions I gave you for the purpose of our survey.

ALL THIS ON JONATHAN'S BLOG

After years of writing articles about youth ministry, parenting and youth culture, Jonathan has finally launched a resource at one location where people can go to get a regular dose of this content. The Source is happy to announce the official launching of Jonathan's Blog.

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BLOG VIA EMAIL OR RSS FEED

Some of Jonathan's Recent Blog Entries:

Soulja Boy Up In "the What?!!"
Jonathan digs a little deeper into this raunchy song that held the #1 spot on charts for months and shares about how currently the "Superman" dance is being taught in the PE class at some public schools.

Why Teenagers Like Amy Winehouse
Jonathan talks about "authenticity" and why teenagers admire Amy Winehouse over Lindsey Lohan.

Poor Taste on TV
The more lewd and scandalous the show... the better it does. Jonathan takes a peek at the success of some recent shows and provides his two cents on the matter.

Religious Wackos Talking Trash About Heath Ledger
Heath Ledger's death brought out some of the Christian Crazies that always seem to emerge from the cracks in the wall. What Bible are these guys reading?

NFL Cracking Down on Churches Showing the Super Bowl on the Big Screen
Numerous youth groups are wondering whether their Super Bowl parties are against NFL rules. Jonathan tells you how it is.

Generation Y's Fleeting Attention Spans
Jonathan shares some research about Generation Y and relates it to youth ministry.

Ashley's Christmas List in One Word
Jonathan unveils a little bit about his youngest daughter's #1 item on her Christmas list: Webkins, the ingenious little stuffed animals that combine "real" toys with the ever-growing "virtual world."

ALL THESE AND MORE ON JONATHAN'S BLOG

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BLOG HERE

Jonathan McKee is president of The Source for Youth Ministry and author of numerous youth ministry books like "Do They Run When They See You Coming?" and "Getting Students to Show Up." Jonathan studies youth culture and trends, speaking and training across the country and providing free online resources, training, & ideas for youth workers at www.TheSource4YM.com

New Podcast: Jonathan, Brandon and GROUP's Danette Matty Talk About the Role of Women in Youth Ministry

Listen to this brand new episode for free on iTunes now! (CLICK HERE) Or, if you don't have iTunes already... jump on Apple's web page for a free download, then click on our podcast page.

EPISODE #11

In this episode Jonathan and Brandon talk with Danette Matty about "Being a Woman in Youth Ministry." Danette is a long time youth worker and freelance writer who trains with GROUP, and writes for THE SOURCE.

A QUICK EAVESDROP OF
THE SOURCE4YM PODCAST, EPISODE #11

JONATHAN: OK, very good! So, tell us, what's sin #2?

DANETTE: #2 is having something to prove. And as a recovering "chip on her shoulder" woman in ministry, I can speak to this. Fortunately, I've had some great examples of women in ministry, but I've also had some bad ones. And it's good that I've seen those bad examples. This is the kind of woman who is competing with every person in the room, man or woman. For instance, I know a very sharp woman in ministry who is very gifted, talented, and a creative speaker, but her kids and her leaders say that she argues with her husband in front of everyone.

JONATHAN: Wow. Now, let me meddle here a little while. Is this unique to women? I mean, we've all met guys who have chips on their shoulders. So, why is it different for a woman who is in youth ministry?

DANETTE: Excellent question. I think it's a sin for either to be someone who feels the need to be condescending or who has to prove something, but as Jeanne Mayo puts it, you can be strong and assertive, but remain a lady. You can still be a lady and a strong woman.

JONATHAN: Sure.

...

JONATHAN: Alright, so tell us, what is sin #4?

DANETTE: Sin #4 is not treating men like men.

JONATHAN: Ooh! I like the sound of this one!

DANETTE: Yeah, well it is a sin. One of my heroes and mentors Jeanne Mayo used to say that a lot. When I took on the interim role at church, I called her up and we talked about this issue. I mean, some of volunteers are men, many, half my age. And she encouraged me to treat them like men, not boys. And anybody who knows her knows she has raised up hundreds and hundreds of youth pastors and missionaries and lead pastors all over the world and most of them are men.

JONATHAN: Well give us an example of what this looks like.

DANETTE: I'll be glad to. I've got a wonderful intern right now. He's been a volunteer with us for a few years. He says I'm his mom in the Lord, and it's been a great opportunity to mentor him. We have our one-on-one's, our one-day-a-week's where I coach him or mentor him, but I treat him as my brother in the Lord. He may treat me like a mom in the Lord, but I do NOT treat him like a little kid.

BRANDON: Right.

DANETTE: Even though he's half my age, I honor him as my brother in Christ... And I think when you call out the best in young men you'll find that they will rise to the occasion. I haven't always done it this way. When I was young in my twenties and thirties, I sometimes had a chip on my shoulder and having no boundaries. But I've taken some knocks and learned the hard way, but I see the fruit of this way now. Even with young men who are not great leaders or good examples of godly men, still when I honor them, when I respect them, when it's time to fire them, I can look them in the eye and say, I've not micromanaged you, and you know that I've honored you as my brother in Christ.

JONATHAN: And that way, they can walk out...a fired MAN.

BRANDON: Right.

DANETTE: A fired man, yes, but they're not browbeaten. And so Sin #5 goes hand in hand with it and it is....

Click here for more of this podcast where Danette goes on to share Sin # 5, "treating women as competition," and other great pieces of wisdom for women (and men) in ministry! Also here's what else you'll get...

Episode Highlights:

In our YOUTH CULTURE WINDOW section of the podcast Jonathan shares what research reveals about the effects of today's "sexualized" media on young girls.
Danette shares the SEVEN SINS OF BEING A WOMAN IN YOUTH MINISTRY!
Brandon shares a RESOURCE HIGHLIGHT that helped his volunteers last time he left them alone for a weekend!
Jonathan, Brandon and Danette answer questions from all of you in our HELP ME section!