That was a good one, but I've definitely heard it before. But it did remind me of a joke I heard in college. But remember that I went to an engineering college and that's where this comes from:

Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, "Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"
"Are you sure?" asked the second atom.
The first atom replied, "Yeah, I'm positive!"

Oh freak, that's genius.

here's a chuck norris joke that me and my dad both really like...

Chuck Norris is so beastly, that when he jumps in the pool he doesn't get wet, the water gets chuck norris!

this blog has officially been owned.

Haha! That's awesome Alec!

Okay, here you go. This is great if you do these real quick from up in front of a crowd of students:

What do you call a cow with no legs?
-Ground Beef.

What do you call a cow with only two legs?
-Lean Beef.

What do you call a cow with three legs?
-Tri Tip.

What do you call a cow jumping over a barbwire fence?
-Udder Desctruction.

Ha... okay... Alec opened the door to Chuck Norris jokes. One of my favorites: Chuck Norris can beat Connect Four... in three moves!

three of my favorites-

A three legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my pa."

Last night I dreamt I wrote Lord of the Rings… I was Tolkien in my sleep.

A baby seal walks into a club...

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

What's Mario's (from Super Mario Brothers video game) overalls made from? Denim Denim Denim (done to the tune of the song from game)

What'd the cow say to the farmer? Nothing! Cows don't talk silly!

Since we're going down the Chuck Norris route here is my favorite: Chuck Norris invented all 32 letters of the alphabet.

Here's one my buddy told me recently:

What did Spock find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log!

what is green with wheels?

grass... i lied about the wheels


waht kind of key opens a banana?

a monkey

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter!

Ok, as for the Chuck Norris....

Did you know that Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.

Another dumb joke...

Do you know there where 5 constapated men in the Bible?
1.) Cain, he wasn't able.
2.) Moses, he took two tablets.
3.) Solomon, he sat for 40 years.
4.) Samson, he brought the house down.
5.) Balaam, he couldn't move his...

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

For the Church Norris fans-

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. (New theology?)

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Walker, Texas Ranger marathon on Satellite TV.

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was a salted!

Did you hear the one about the jump rope? Skip it.

How do you make a hanky dance? Put a little boogie in it.

Did you hear the one about the cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils?

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto

Did you hear that a boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other?
Apparently the crew were marooned.

Pessimist: Things are horrible. Everything is falling apart. Things can't get any worse.
Optimist: Yes they can!

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions?

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin' Catholic.

Famous last words of a mafia hit man: "Who put a violin in the violin case?"

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Give me some chap stick and put it on my bill."

Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.

What is long, brown and runs around the garden?
A fence.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Fish

Thanks for the jokes! My four year old granddaughter has just enter the silly joke stage and I was looking for some good ones. I found a few gems on your page.

Superman wears Chuck Norris Pajama's to Bed.

The first time I heard this I cracked up soo much because it was that dumb.

Ask me if I'm and orange???

are you and Orange??

NOOoo

how did simba beat nalla in a race? (from the lion king)
he MUFASSA!

cool site. Here's one my daughter told me yesterday:

Which side of a cheetah has the most spots?


The Outside!

Why did the elephant wear tennies?

Because Nineys were too small,
and elevenies were to big!!

1)Question:How do you get an elephant in the refrigerator?
Answer:Open up the door and put it in

2)Question:How do you get a giraffe in the refrigerator?
Person's response:open up the door and put it in.
Answer:No you have to take the elephant out first

3)Question:Lion King has a meeting of all the forest animals and one isn't there. Which one isn't there?
Answer:The giraffe because you put him in the refrigerator

What did one plate say to another?

Dinner's on me!

what did the brown chick say to the brown cow?
brown-chicka brown-cow!

James Pond

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Dam.

Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?



It's two tired.

(The Frank Eifler Memorial dumb joke.)

my jokes i have 3

#1
There are 5 fish in a tank and 4 of them drown how many are left?

5 casue fish can't drown.
hahaha...




#2
3 women are about to be executed. one is blonde, another is brunette, and the last is a redhead.guard brings to bunette forward and the killer askes if she has any last requests. she says no and the killer yells "READY!AIM!" and then the brunette yells "EARTH QUAKE" everyone runs for cover while she escapes. Then the guard brings the Redhead forward and the killer asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the killer yells"READY!AIM!" and the rehead yells"TORNADO." Everyone ducks and runs for cover while she escapes. Now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings the blonde forward and the killer asks if she has any last requests. She says no so the killer shouts "READY!AIM!" and the blonde yells"FIRE!"
l0ll. I found tht one hilarious.

#3
what is the first letter of yellow.

"y"

i just wanted to know.
hehe.

hardity har har(did i spell that right?)

What is the capital of Djibouti?

Shake shake shake.

Shake shake shake. Shake your bootie.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where's my tractor?

my favorite chuck norris joke....

Chuck Norris can watch 60 minutes in only half an hour.

hahah that is so not funny♥

My favorite dumb joke:

Two cows were talking and the first cow says "hey, I'm really worried about this mad cow disease" and the second cow says "I'm not worried, I'm a Buick !"

ok how many steps does it take to put and elephant that can fit in a fridge?
three 1.open the door2.put the elephant in3.close the door...
how many steps does it take to put a girffe in the fridge?
four 1.open the door 2. take out the elephant 3. put in the girffe 4. close the door duh...
ya lol so di du hear about the forest fire? omg it was really bad i wonder what animal is most likely to survie.... well its clearly the girffe cuz its still in the fridge duh! lol its funny right and now ur smiling see i can see u through the screen hahaha

What did Saddam Hussain say before he was hanged?

"Now just Kuwait a minute!"

hey whats up???

the sky

here's MY favorite jokes:

A rhino was the result of a one-night stand between Chuck Norris and a hippo
lol

What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "we don't accept your kind around here." the mushroom says, "what? I'm a fun guy!"

Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
He got gaught with seeweed.

Why do seagulls live by the sea?
because if they lived by the bay they'd be called bay-gulls

why is the ocean blue???
cause the fishes go "blu,blu,blu"
get it, lol
if u dont well too bad :p

What did one snowman say to the other?

Do you smell carrots?

what's grey and not there?

no elephants.

Q: What did the driver say to the putter?
A: Let's go Clubbin!

1)

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

2)

A bear walks into a bar and says, "Hey barkeep, I'll have a gin and...[looks around, then at watch, maybe whistles a little or taps foot aimlessly]...tonic."

The bartender says, "O--K...but what's with the big pause?"

[Hold hands up, shaking them with alarm/annoyance} "I'M A BEARRRR!"

3)

What do you call a stillbirth in a hippie commune?

A midwife crisis.

4)

What do you call a track meet for cross-dressers?

A drag race.

5)

What's the difference between hungry and full?

Ate.

i have a joke..

Do you have any holes in your socks ?
then how did you get your feet in ? :P funnnny

I use this one on the kids when I cut their hair.

What kind of flower is on your face?
Tulips!!